Vibrators are fun additions to the kinky toy box and can add a wonderful depth to play sessions. For some people though, these toys can feel threatening or strange. We’re looking today at a few of the many myths that surround vibrators and how they can enhance what it is that we do (wiitwd). Bottom line: vibrators are FUN!
If we use a vibrator, maybe my partner won’t need me for pleasure anymore.
Reality – Vibrators are an element of your play that can help you and your honey reach new levels of passion and joy. They don’t replace the emotions between partners. If anything, vibrators can reduce the anxiety and performance worries that frequently accompany sexual activities. When used alone or together, they can also be great tools for exploring new sensations in areas of the body that turn us on. That’s great information to share!
If my partner wants to use a vibrator during sex, they’re saying I’m not good enough in bed.
Reality – This myth is more about you than your partner. Insecurity and self-doubt plague many people and they can cause performance anxiety in bed. Your partner isn’t saying they want to use a vibrator instead of you. They may just find that some additional stimulation helps them get in the mood or over the top in a new way. They may also want to play with you while using it, which can be totally hot. Show and tell time, anyone?
If I use a vibrator too often, my pussy will get too desensitized and I won’t be able to get off without it.
Reality – If you jack or jill with a vibrator three or four times every day for several days, your naughty parts may get desensitized. Too much of a good thing! If you’re not feeling anything down there from tongues, dildos or finger, lay off the vibes for a few days and you’ll be fine. It’s not a big deal.
If my partner wants to use a vibrator, it means they don’t love me.
Reality – This myth is similar number one, but on a different level. If you’re feeling this way, it could be related to something else going on in your relationship. Vibrators can’t replace the love you share. Sex is just one aspect of your partnership, and a vibe can be a good way to add variety in the bedroom, or the kitchen, or the shower…
If I want to use a vibrator during sex with my partner, I’m being selfish.
We fully subscribe to sex columnist Dan Savage’s concept of being GGG: good in bed, giving and receiving pleasure in equal measure, and game to try – within reason. However, you’re responsible for your own sexual well-being. It isn’t selfish wanting to play with a partner using sex toys, and many vibes are shaped for sharing. It’s hot. Embrace the fun that a vibrator can bring to your sex life together.
Like many of the aspects of sexuality, talking about trying something new or different can be intimidating for both partners. Now at least you have some of the myths out of the way. If trying a vibrator appeals to you, consider shopping together at a store with knowledgeable staff who can answer any other questions you may have, and help you choose a great toy in your price range.
Yours in kink–Amelie